Limited Offer: FREE Lesson Plans for teaching Body Safety and Consent!

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To help you make a difference to the children in your care, 

we are making our Body Safety and Consent Lesson Plans available 
for free download from our website.

Age-appropriate content, suitable for Preschool, Kindergarten, Primary or Elementary School classes.

This offer will end on Wednesday 15th May 2019. The lesson plans will still be available after this date, but for purchase only.


To get your free Lesson Plans:

  1. go to our Body Safety & Consent Lesson Plans Download page, choose the A4 or US version*

  2. Add To Cart,

  3. and use coupon code FREELESSON in the checkout!

* The Lesson Plans are available in A4 page size (English UK) or US letter size (English US)

What’s in the Lesson Plans?

18 fully developed lesson plans incorporating questions and activities based on the messages in our Body Safety and Consent books, to help you convey important and empowering life skills to your students.

Included: key outcomes, teaching notes, resource masters, whole class and individual activities!

Written by Jayneen Sanders (experienced Primary School teacher and award-winning author in the educational sector) and Yale Merceica (experienced Primary School teacher and author).

Empower the children in your care with knowledge on Body Safety, Respect and Consent - essential education to help prevent child abuse.

These lesson plans will help your school, kindergarten or childcare centre to meet the Child Safe Standards Number 7  (Victoria) and to implement recommendations from Vol 6: Making Institutions Child Safe (2.5) in the Final Report from the Royal Commission 2018 (Australia-wide).


The Lesson Plans are available in hardcopy as an optional extra with purchase of our Body Safety & Consent Bundle, or just the Lesson Plans if you already have the books!



April is Child Abuse Prevention Month

April is an important month, globally designated for sexual assault awareness AND for child abuse prevention!

If you haven't yet started educating your children/students in Body Safety,
NOW is the time to start! 

If you have previously educated your children in Body Safety,
you can use this as an opportunity to check in
and see if they have retained the essential information.

 

You can also make a difference for other children and families within your community. Children living within abusive homes are not likely to receive Body Safety Education unless they can access it through their teachers. Speak with the people in charge at your school, kindergarten, childcare centre, or even sporting groups, and ask them what policies they have in place for protecting children. Let them know about our resources which make teaching Body Safety easy, fun, and most importantly age-appropriate for young children.



A Global Issue

In an effort to empower as many children as we can, we are translating our My Body Safety Rules poster into different languages and making all of them available for free download from our website.

At this time we have English UK, English US, and 16 other languages available! If you have family, friends or students who could use these, please spread the word.

Our My Body Safety Rules poster is currently available in English UK/US, Afrikaans, Arabic, Bulgarian, Danish, French, German, Hungarian, Indonesian, Italian, Malaysian, Mongolian, Romanian, Spanish, Swedish, Vietnamese, and Xhosa.

If you are able to provide a translation for another language, we would love to hear from you! Please visit our page for guidelines and template.
 

Book Translations and International Distribution

At Education2Empower Publishing, our books are initially written and published in English, and made available for purchase via our website shop and also on Amazon sites. Our content is globally relevant, and so we are endeavouring to have our book content translated and available in countries around the world.

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We currently have a number of titles translated and available on Amazon:

  • "Some Secrets Should Never Be Kept" is available in Spanish, Italian, Chinese, Japanese, German, and French translations.

  • Spanish editions of "No Means No!", "You, Me and Empathy", and "No Difference Between Us" are also available.

 

Some books have also been translated to local languages and/or are available in:

World Vision India has produced and is distributing these Indian translations of My Body! What I Say Goes!

World Vision India has produced and is distributing these Indian translations of My Body! What I Say Goes!

If you would like the opportunity to translate and distribute our books in your area, please contact us.

 


A few things that YOU can do to help prevent child abuse.

Parents: If you’re reading this, you quite likely already have some (if not all) of our books and resources. This is fantastic! Your children are already being empowered with prevention education. But there is more you can do:

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  • Make sure to read and discuss your books/resources with your children more than once. Especially the My Body Safety Rules skillset (available as free downloadable posteranimation or explained in-depth within the My Body! What I Say Goes! children's book). Numerous readings and discussions will help to reinforce the skillset, so that children quickly remember what they can do in a situation where they feel unsafe.
     

  • Display the My Body Safety Rules poster in common areas (ie. on the fridge) - this can serve as both a reminder for your children, and also a deterrent for any unsuspected predator that may come into your home.
     

  • Ask your school if they are teaching Body Safety Education. If they aren't, print off a copy of our Catalogue and give it to them. There is no reason why they can't provide this education, and every reason why they should! Children who have abusers in their homes should not be left to fall through the cracks. It will also help the school decision makers to know that they have many parents in their community who are in support of prevention education being taught at school.
     

  • Spread the word! Talk to other parents about this - friends, family and other community groups. Forward this email to them. Give them our website address. Share our social pages. Check in at your local library to see if they have our books on the shelves, and if they don't, make a request for them to get them in.







Educators: 

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If you are a decision maker at your workplace, please ensure that your teachers are including Body Safety Education in their schedule. With simple professional development, teachers can teach Body Safety; two, 30-minute lessons over five weeks is all it takes to impart this crucial knowledge to children. Or you may be able to secure the services of a specialist educator in the Body Safety/ Protective Behaviours area, who can travel out to your school and run the classes for you.
If you are not a decision maker at your school or workplace, and you know that Body Safety Education is not yet part of the curriculum - PLEASE make an official request for it to be introduced. If you don't do it - who will? 

Our latest resources, specifically for teachers, are Lesson Plans that are integrated with the content of our books. With fun and engaging class-based activities to help reinforce the messages from the books.

Our Teacher's Resource Kit is a comprehensive collection that includes not just our books, but also a range of teaching materials, professional development PowerPoint presentation for teachers and information that you can use to inform parents about the education. This Kit covers all bases and makes it easy for schools to implement Body Safety and Respectful Relationships Education.

Lesson Plans for Teachers, Childcare Workers and Educators

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Lesson Plans for Body Safety & Consent.
Written by Jayneen Sanders and Yale Merceica, these 18 fully developed lesson plans incorporate questions and activities based on the messages in our books, to help you convey important and empowering life skills to your students.

The content is age-appropriate and suitable for Preschool and Primary/Elementary School classes.

Available as an optional extra with purchase of our Body Safety & Consent Bundle, or just the Lesson Plans if you already have the books!


Does your local school or childcare centre have our Body Safety and Consent books in their library?


We'd like you to ask this question of your local school, kindergarten or childcare centre TODAY! If their answer is no, then they need to seriously consider these resources. Our books, teaching kits and lesson plans now make it easier than ever to educate children in Body Safety, and help prevent child sexual abuse.

If you already have these books, please write to us and let us know how you and your children (or students) have reacted to the stories and messages within. Which elements were most helpful to you?

You can find all of our books and teaching kits for sale in the online shop on our website www.e2epublishing.info/shop (shipping to AUS/NZ) or if you are located in the Northern hemisphere, you can find all of our books individually on Amazon US or Amazon UK.

E2E children's books — FINALISTS in the 2018 Foreword INDIES Book of the Year Awards

We were thrilled to receive the news that two of our latest publications have been selected as finalists in the 2018 Foreword INDIES Book of the Year Awards!

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Congratulations to author Jayneen Sanders and illustrators Sarah Jennings and Diane Ewen!

Finalist in Juvenile Non-Fiction: Let’s Talk About Body Boundaries, Consent and Respect

Finalist in Children’s Picture Books, Early Reader: Who Am I? I Am Me!


As part of its mission to discover, review, and share the best books from university and independent publishers, Foreword Magazine, Inc. (@forewordreviews) hosts an annual awards program each year. Finalists represent the best books published in 2018. After more than 2,000 individual titles spread across 56 genres were submitted for consideration, the list of finalists was determined by Foreword’s editorial team. Winners will be decided by an expert team of booksellers and librarians—representing Foreword’s readership.

The 2018 Foreword INDIES winners are scheduled to be announced Friday, June 14, 2019! Wish us luck!!


Foreword INDIES press release: https://www.forewordreviews.com/awards/finalists/2018/press-release/

Full List of finalists for 2018: https://www.forewordreviews.com/awards/finalists/2018/all/

Finalists by Category: https://www.forewordreviews.com/awards/finalists/2018/


Find out more about these two books, and the others in our collection at www.e2epublishing.info/shop 

A Body Safety Message for the Holiday Season

Holiday season is upon us, and our kids are about to spend A LOT of time around people — family, extended family, friends, friends of friends, acquaintances and total strangers. They will be in amongst groups of people at family gatherings, Christmas parties, carol nights, NYE celebrations, camping grounds, parks, swimming pool or beach (or ski resorts if you’re in the Northern Hemisphere) , shopping centres, cinemas, etc.

We cannot stress enough how important it is for your children to be educated in Body Safety, especially at this time of year!

Give your kids:

  • the gift of confidence, in knowing what they can do if they feel worried, unsafe, unsure, intimidated,

  • the gift of being able to recognise what is inappropriate behaviour,

  • the gift of understanding what consent means and what rights they have, especially in relation to their own body.

Give yourself the gift of peace of mind, knowing you have done everything you can to help keep your children safe and happy.


Teaching the key messages of Body Safety is easy. 

They are positive messages that are age-appropriate for children. You can start with our free resources: 

My Body Safety Rules poster — available in 14 languages! See ALL posters…

We recommend that you put the poster up in your children’s bedroom/playroom so that they have easy access and a reminder of the rules whenever they need them. The fridge is a great place to put it too, so any visitors in your house know that your children are educated in Body Safety. The double benefit of this is, 1. deterring potential predators, and 2. educating other families or children who don’t know about Body Safety.


You can also gift the knowledge of Body Safety to your local community - take a printed poster to your local swimming pool, sporting club, hospital or shopping centre and ask if they can pin it up in a prominent place, on their noticeboard, or outside public toilets.



If you want to know more about WHY and HOW to teach your children Body Safety, please read this comprehensive article: Protect Your Child From Sexual Abuse


Our collection of children’s books also provide many important messages and skills, with engaging dialogue and beautiful colour illustrations to help you empower your children in a fun and positive way.


Lesson Plans for Teachers: Body Safety; Gender Equality; Social and Emotional Intelligence

ATTENTION Teachers! We have just released some new resources: Lesson Plans for the topics of Body Safety, Gender Equality, and Social and Emotional Intelligence. 

Written by Jayneen Sanders and Yale Merceica, these fully developed lesson plans incorporate questions and activities based on the messages in our books, to help you convey important and empowering life skills to your students. The content is age-appropriate and suitable for Preschool and Primary/Elementary School classes.

The Lesson Plans include: key outcomes, teaching notes, resource masters, whole class and individual activities integrated with the reading of our books to make the teaching process easier for you.

The Lesson Plans are modular and available as a purchase option with each of our Book Bundles:


For anyone who already has the books, the Lesson Plans can be purchased separately.


For even more teaching resources, our very successful and comprehensive Body Safety Education Teacher’s Resource Kit is available in Preschool and Primary School Editions. As well as including books and teaching notes, the Teacher’s Resource Kit also includes an Activity Book, activity resource masters, parent information letter and hand-out, access to Powerpoint files for in-servicing teachers and parent information sessions, full-colour printed posters, and laminated Safe/Unsafe cards.

Children’s book author Jayneen Sanders interviewed on The Sue Atkins Parenting Show – Body Safety and other ways to Empower Children

Children’s book author Jayneen Sanders interviewed on The Sue Atkins Parenting Show – Body Safety and other ways to Empower Children

We were thrilled when Sue Atkins (internationally recognised TV and Radio Parenting Expert) contacted us to set up an interview with Educate2Empower author and founder, Jayneen Sanders…

Read More

How to talk about body safety and consent with your child

How to talk about body safety and consent with your child

E2E Author, Jayneen Sanders, interviewed by Shevonne Hunt on Kinderling Kids Radio Conversation Hour (29th March 2018). Audio length 14mins. The mum, teacher, and author opens up about how she came to write her books, and simple ways we can talk to children about often very complex and uncomfortable topics.

Read More

Plea to Principals and Directors of Kindergartens — Teach Body Safety

Dear Principals of Elementary and Primary Schools, and Directors of Kindergartens

As a principal or director of a school or kindergarten, you are in a very powerful position to make a massive difference to the lives of the children in your care. Body Safety Education taught at your institution could literally change the course of a child’s life.

Firstly here are some *statistics (sources below). Did you know …

• 20% of girls and 8% of boys will be sexually abused before their 18th birthday. Think about this statistic in terms of a class of 30 kids at your school. That is approximately 3 girls and 1 boy will be sexually abused before 18.

• In 85 to 90% of cases, the sexual offender is known to the child. Child sexual abusers are in our homes, schools and communities. They are not only grooming children, they are grooming the adults who care for them.

• The most vulnerable age for children to be exposed to sexual assault is between 3 and 8 years. We need to start prevention education early!

• 1 in 3 adults would not believe a child if they disclosed sexual abuse. We not only need to educate our kids, we need to educate the community to believe a child’s disclosure.

• We know that in 98% of reported child sexual abuse cases, children’s disclosures were found to be true. Children do not lie about sexual abuse.

The tragic aftermath of child sexual abuse can have horrific and life-changing consequences. But what I want to tell you is that prevention education is actually incredibly easy. It is age-appropriate and empowering. Principals and directors such as yourselves and your staff have the ability to change the statistics I have quoted. Choosing to teach Body Safety Education to the children in your care can change outcomes for children.

If you are holding back because you are worried that parents won’t support this type of education, than I think you are wrong. In my experience, through social media and feedback from my work, parents are on board! With every second news story about historical child sexual abuse, this younger generation of parent is very keen for the past never to be repeated.

I know your curriculum is crowded but with simple professional development teachers can teach Body Safety; two, 30-minute lessons over five weeks is all it takes to impart this crucial knowledge to children. I know! I’ve done it in my own classroom.

Adults are 100% responsible for educating kids in Body Safety. And they are 100% responsible for educating themselves about child sexual abuse. Child sexual abusers are 100% responsible for sexually abusing a child.

We, as teachers, are in a privileged position to work with kids and help protect them. We can do this! Please don’t let our adult fear of this topic put our kids at risk. Our children are looking to us for protection. I am not a survivor of child sexual abuse. I am just a concerned teacher and parent who believes we can do so much more for our kids.

So next time you are at assembly and you see all those gorgeous faces looking up at you, please think about those statistics. And please implement a Body Safety program at your educational institution. Body Safety Education taught at your school or kindergarten could literally change the course of a child’s life. Please help me and other advocates like me. We are asking you to be as passionate about protecting children from child sexual abuse as we are. Please contact me through www.e2epublishing.info if you need more information.  

Regards

Jayneen Sanders

* 20% of girls and 8% of boys will be sexually abused before their 18th birthday. (Pereda, et al, 2009)

* In 85 to 90% of cases, the sexual offender was known to the child. (NSW Commission for Children & Young People, 2009)

* The most vulnerable age for children to be exposed to sexual assault is between 3 and 8 years. (Browne & Lynch, 1994)

* 1 in 3 adults would not believe a child if they disclosed sexual abuse. (Australian Childhood Foundation, 2010)

* We know that in 98% of reported child sexual assault cases, children’s disclosures were found to be true. (NSW Child protection Council, cited in Dympna House, 1998)

To download FREE Body Safety posters for your classroom go to www.e2epublishing.info/posters/

All Jayneen’s books are published by Educate2Empower Publishing an award-winning niché children's book publisher who specializes in children's books on BODY SAFETY, CONSENT, GENDER EQUALITY and RESPECTFUL RELATIONSHIPS. Educate2Empower Publishing also provides free resources for parents, caregivers and educators on these important topics. For more information go to: www.e2epublishing.info  All Jayneen's books are available on Amazon.

 

Comment

Jay Sanders

Jayneen (Jay) Sanders is an experienced primary school teacher and a successful children's book author. She is also the mother of three teenage girls and has been a primary school councillor for over seven years. Her time spent in primary schools inspired her to ask: ‘What are we doing in schools to protect our children from sexual interference?’ When she realised very little was actually being done, she decided to write a book to help parents, carers and teachers to broach the subject of self-protection and to encourage children to speak up.

12 Confronting Child Sexual Abuse Statistics All Parents Need to Know

As a parent and an educator I find the statistics below both confronting and horrifying. However, they do highlight the reasons WHY we need to teach the children in our care Body Safety from the earliest of years. Such age-appropriate knowledge is empowering for children, and might well be the difference between a child becoming one of these statistics or not.

As an advocate for Body Safety Education in both homes and schools, I have heard many sad and crippling stories from adult survivors; but it’s this one shared comment that stays with me, “If only I had known from the first inappropriate touch it was wrong, my life could have been so different.”

I am not a survivor of childhood sexual abuse but I am a mother and teacher who believes we can do better by our kids. We need to put our adult fear of this topic aside, and take on the responsibility of educating our children so they know to tell, and keep on telling until they are believed. We also have a responsibility to educate ourselves so we know the signs of sexual abuse and grooming. Believing a child when they disclose sexual abuse is of the utmost importance, as is our reaction to the disclosure.

These statistics are a call to action for parents, carers and teachers everywhere — let’s educate ourselves and our kids in Body Safety, and like any good “ripple effect,” let’s educate others to do the same! I am asking you to play your part. Ironically, you may never know but your advocacy could positively change a child’s life forever.

1. Approximately 20 percent of girls (1 in 5) and 8 percent of boys (1 in 12.5) will be sexually abused before their 18th birthday (Pereda et al, 2009)

2. 95 percent of sexually abused children will be abused by someone they know and trust (NAPCAN 2009).

3. Of those molesting a child under six, 50 percent were family members. Family members also accounted for 23 percent of those abusing children 12 to 17 years (Snyder, 2000).

4. The most vulnerable age for children to be exposed to sexual assault is between 3 and 8 years with the majority of onset happening between these ages (Browne & Lynch, 1994).

5. Males made up 90 percent of adult child sexual assault perpetrators, while 3.9 percent of perpetrators were female, with a further 6 percent classified as ’unknown gender’ (McCloskey & Raphael, 2005).

6. As many of 40 percent of children who are sexually abused are abused by older, or more powerful children. (Finkelhor, 2012) Note: with the easy access to pornography we are seeing more and more cases of child on child sexual abuse, and older children/siblings sexually abusing younger children. Twenty-three percent of all 10 to 17 year olds experience exposure to unwanted pornography (Jones L., et al 2012).

7. Eighty-four percent of sexual victimization of children under 12 occurs in a residence (Snyder, 2000).

8. In 98 percent of child abuse cases reported to officials, children’s statements were found to be true (NSW Child Protection Council, cited in Dympna House 1998).

9. 1 in 3 adults would not believe a child if they disclosed sexual abuse (Australian Childhood Foundation, 2010).

10. Seventy-three percent of child victims do not tell anyone about the abuse for at least 1 year. Forty-five percent do not tell anyone for 5 years. Some never disclose (Broman-Fulks et al, 2007).

11. Survivors of childhood sexual abuse are 10 to 13 times more likely to attempt suicide. (Plunkett A, O’Toole B, Swanston H, Oates RK, Shrimpton S, Parkinson P 2001).

12. Children living without either parent (foster children) are 10 times more likely to be sexually abused than children who live with both biological parents. Children who live with a single parent that has a live-in partner are at the highest risk: they are 20 times more likely to be victims of sexual abuse than children living with both biological parents (Sedlack et al, 2010).

In my experience, children do not lie about sexual abuse and the research would indicate this. Please educate your child in Body Safety. I truly hope they may never need this knowledge but think of it as a safety belt — just in case.

We also know that children who are being sexually abused may first disclose to a friend. If that friend has been educated in Body Safety they will know to tell a trusted adult on their Safety Network. Educating children in Body Safety is in the best interests of all children.

If these statistics have raised any issues please, go to this links page. For more statistics and general information on child sexual abuse please visit Darkness to Light. To help get sexual abuse prevention education in all schools in the US please support Erin’s Law.

Free My Body Safety Rules poster to download for the children in your life.

Jayneen is the author of children’s books and a parent’s guide on Body Safety.

References

Australian Childhood Foundation (2010). Doing Nothing Hurts Children. Ringwood [Vic]: Australian Childhood Foundation.

Broman-Fulks, J. J., Ruggiero, K. J., Hanson, R. F., Smith, D. W., Resnick, H. S., Kilpatrick, D. G., & Saunders, B. E. (2007). Sexual assault disclosure in relation to adolescent mental health: Results from the National Survey of Adolescents. Journal of Clinical Child and Adolescent Psychology, 36: 260 – 266

Browne, K. & Lynch, M. (1994). Prevention: Actions speak louder than words. Child Abuse Review, 3: 241-244.

Fergusson, D. M., & Mullen, P. E. (1999). Childhood sexual abuse: An evidence based perspective. Thousand Oaks: Sage Publications, Inc.

Finkelhor D. (2012) Characteristics of crimes against juveniles, Durham, NH: Crimes Against Children research Centre

Jones L., Mitchell K., Finkelhor D. (2012) Trends in youth victimization: findings from three youth internet safety surveys 2000-2010, Journal of Adolescent Health 50: 179-186

McCloskey KA, Raphael DN. Adult perpetrator gender asymmetries in child sexual assault victim selection: results from the 2000 National Incident-Based Report System. J Child Sex Abus. 2005;14(4):1-24.

New South Wales Child Protection Council, (1998). Managing Sex Offenders

Pereda, Guilera, Forns and Gomez-Benito (2009) The prevalence of child sexual abuse in community and student samples: a meta-analysis

Plunkett A, O’Toole B, Swanston H, Oates RK, Shrimpton S, Parkinson P. Suicide risk following child sexual abuse (2001)

Sedlak, A.J., Mettenburg, J., Basena, M., Petta, I., McPherson, K., Greene, A., and Li, S. (2010). Fourth National Incidence Study of Child Abuse and Neglect (NIS–4): Report to Congress, Executive Summary. Washington, DC: U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children and Families.

Snyder, H. N. (2000). Sexual assault of young children as reported to law enforcement: Victim, incident, and offender characteristics. Washington, DC: U.S. Department of Justice, Office of Justice Program, Bureau of Justice Statistics.

Note: Every attempt has been made to locate all references and their links. Due to the nature of this research statistics will vary according to the individual and/or team’s research data.

First published in The Huffingtonpost.

 

2 Comments

Jay Sanders

Jayneen (Jay) Sanders is an experienced primary school teacher and a successful children's book author. She is also the mother of three teenage girls and has been a primary school councillor for over seven years. Her time spent in primary schools inspired her to ask: ‘What are we doing in schools to protect our children from sexual interference?’ When she realised very little was actually being done, she decided to write a book to help parents, carers and teachers to broach the subject of self-protection and to encourage children to speak up.

What is Body Safety Education?

Body Safety Education (aka sexual abuse prevention education) aims to empower children with skills and knowledge that will lessen the likelihood of them becoming victims of childhood sexual abuse.

In summary, Body Safety Education teaches children:

  • the correct names for their private body parts

  • the difference between safe and unsafe touch

  • not to keep secrets that make them feel bad/uncomfortable

  • what to do if they are touched inappropriately

  • general assertiveness — especially in relation to their own body.

For a more in-depth coverage of Body Safety Education go to Jayneen's book 'Body Safety Education: a parents' guide to protecting kids from sexual abuse'

This book is also on Amazon at http://amzn.to/2cC7QNb

 
Comment

Jay Sanders

Jayneen (Jay) Sanders is an experienced primary school teacher and a successful children's book author. She is also the mother of three teenage girls and has been a primary school councillor for over seven years. Her time spent in primary schools inspired her to ask: ‘What are we doing in schools to protect our children from sexual interference?’ When she realised very little was actually being done, she decided to write a book to help parents, carers and teachers to broach the subject of self-protection and to encourage children to speak up.

Giving Kids a Voice at Christmas Time

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Christmas is a crazy time of the year. Relatives and friends will be coming and going, things will become hectic, and your kids will be a huge part of this exciting mix. However, two very important things to consider before things get really busy, you’re distracted and the kids are off … somewhere!

1. Prior to the Christmas/holiday rush, discuss with your child how they might like to greet family and friends in a way that makes your child feel comfortable. Remember, it may have been years since they have seen people, or they may have never met some family members before. Now might be a good time to read or reread ‘No Means No!’ and have that conversation not only about greetings but consent and body boundaries. So when good old Uncle Joe rushes through the door with his arms out wide and your little one hesitates, support your child by allowing them to greet in a way they have chosen not Uncle Joe! It may be a high-five, a handshake or that great big hug, but it must be your child’s choice! After all, it is THEIR body and they are the boss of it!

2. In over 85% of child sexual abuse cases, the child knew the offender (NSW Commission for Children and Young people, 2009). Sexual predators are in our homes and communities. Fact. And they will use every opportunity to groom both you and your child. The holiday season allows predators easy access to children. Therefore, make sure you revisit Body Safety skills with your child. And if you haven’t educated them in Body Safety than now is most definitely the time.  Educating your child with these skills will lessen the likelihood of them being targeted and consquently being sexually abused. Now is also an ideal time to read or reread "My Body! What I say Goes!" . And by displaying the My Body Safety Rules poster in your house you are basically saying to any potential predators that your child is educated in Body Safety and that means they are educated to to TELL! (BTW this poster is free to download!)

Enjoy this wonderful festive season with your family and friends but keep your radar tuned, and ensure you have safety measures in place for your child — these include safety messages around consent and body autonomy. Our kids are relying on us to provide this information and help keep them safe.

Jayneen Sanders (aka Jay Dale) is a teacher, author, mother of three daughters and an active advocate for sexual abuse prevention education and respectful relationships to be taught both in the home and in schools.

For more information on this topic and Jay’s children's books 'Some Secrets Should Never Be Kept', 'Pearl Fairweather Pirate Captain', ‘No Means No!’, ‘My Body! What I say Goes!’, ‘No Difference Between Us’, and her parents’ guide ‘Body Safety Education — A parents’ guide to protecting kids from sexual abuse’ go to www.e2epublishing.info

All books are also available on Amazon at http://amzn.to/2cC7QNb

 

Why You MUST Teach Kids Sexual Abuse Prevention Education

1. 20% of girls and 8% of boys will experience childhood sexual abuse before their 18th birthday (Fergusson & Mullen, 1999; NSW Commission for Children & Young People, 2009).

2. Approximately 95% of sex abusers are known to the child (NAPCAN 2009). They will be amongst your family, friends and the community. Remember sexual predators groom both YOU and YOUR CHILD.

3. The most vulnerable age for children to be exposed to sexual abuse is between 3 and 8 years with the majority of onset happening between these ages (Browne & Lynch, 1994). It is NEVER too early to start teaching Body Safety (aka sexual abuse prevention education) to children.

4. Up to 95% of child sexual abusers are male (Bagley, 1995). They can be single, married and have families of their own. Women do abuse but the majority of sexual predators are male.

5. In 98% of child abuse cases reported to officials, children’s statements were found to be true (NSW Child Protection Council, cited in Dympna House 1998). Children DO NOT lie about being sexually abused.

6. Children who live with a single parent that has a live-in partner are at the highest risk of sexual abuse: they are 20 times more likely to be victims of sexual abuse than children living with both biological parents (Sedlack et al, 2010). Be very careful who you bring into your home and your life.

7. Research tells us that your child is more likely to be sexually abused than suffer from asthma (Australian Institute of Health & Welfare, Bureau of Criminology and CASA House). Think about that!

My final point:  Don’t let your adult fear of this topic put children at risk. Body Safety Education is age-appropriate, empowering and key to keeping children safe from the life-long trauma that is childhood sexual abuse. Talk about this topic openly with family and friends, and educate your children and encourage others to do the same. As adults we have a duty of care to protect the children in our communities; so let’s work together to remove the shadows in which predators hide because this is exactly what they don’t want us to do!  

 

Jayneen Sanders (aka Jay Dale) is a teacher, author, mother of three daughters and an active advocate for sexual abuse prevention education and respectful relationships to be taught both in the home and in schools.

For more information on this topic and Jay’s children's books 'Some Secrets Should Never Be Kept', 'Pearl Fairweather Pirate Captain', ‘No Means No!’, ‘My Body! What I say Goes!’, ‘No Difference Between Us’, and her parents’ guide ‘Body Safety Education — A parents’ guide to protecting kids from sexual abuse’ go to www.e2epublishing.info

All books are also available on Amazon at http://amzn.to/2cC7QNb

 

 

Comment

Jay Sanders

Jayneen (Jay) Sanders is an experienced primary school teacher and a successful children's book author. She is also the mother of three teenage girls and has been a primary school councillor for over seven years. Her time spent in primary schools inspired her to ask: ‘What are we doing in schools to protect our children from sexual interference?’ When she realised very little was actually being done, she decided to write a book to help parents, carers and teachers to broach the subject of self-protection and to encourage children to speak up.

Body Safety ‘What Ifs?’ for Kids

After children have been taught their Body Safety Rules, ask them these ‘What If?’ questions to reinforce the safety messages learnt.

What if?

What if someone asks to see your private parts?

You know: Your body belongs to you and your private parts are just for you.

Say: No! My private parts are just for me.

Action: Tell one of the adults on your *Safety Network straightaway. If they don’t believe you, tell another adult on your Safety Network.

 

What if?

What if a person tells you to keep a secret that makes you feel uncomfortable and unsafe?

You know: Secrets that make you feel uncomfortable or unsafe should NEVER be kept.

Say: I don’t keep secrets. I only keep happy surprises because they will be told.

Action: Tell one of the adults on your *Safety Network straightaway. If they don’t believe you, tell another adult on your Safety Network.

 

What if?

What if you feel any of your *Early Warning Signs in any situation?

You know: That this is your body letting you know something is not right.

Say: No! I don’t want to do that!

Action: Tell one of the adults on your *Safety Network straightaway. If they don’t believe you, tell another adult on your Safety Network.

 

What if?

What if someone shows you pictures on a phone, ipad or computer of adults, teenagers or children showing and/or touching their private parts.

You know: No-one should show you pictures of private parts. This is very wrong.

Say: No! Don’t show me those pictures! Kids should never see these kinds of pictures.

Action: Tell one of the adults on your *Safety Network straightaway. If they don’t believe you, tell another adult on your Safety Network.

 

What if?

What if someone tells you to play a ‘fun game’ where you both pull down your pants and show each other your private parts?

You know: Your body belongs to you and your private parts are just for you.

Say: No! My private parts are just for me.

Action: Tell one of the adults on your *Safety Network straightaway. If they don’t believe you, tell another adult on your Safety Network.

 

What if?

What if someone tells you (or sends you a message on a phone or computer) asking you to send pictures of your private parts?

You know: This is very wrong.

Say: No! This is wrong. Kids don’t do this. 

Action: Tell one of the adults on your *Safety Network straightaway. If they don’t believe you, tell another adult on your *Safety Network.

 

What if?

What if an adult, an older teenager or other kids start to make jokes about private parts?

You know: No-one should ever make jokes about private parts especially with kids.

Say: Stop! You should never joke about private parts with kids.

Action: Tell one of the adults on your *Safety Network straightaway. If they don’t believe you, tell another adult on your Safety Network.

 

 

What if?

What if children are playing around in the toilets (or playground) at school and trying to see other people’s private parts?

You know: Everyone’s body belongs to them and kids should not be trying to look at each other’s private parts.

Say: Stop! This is wrong. You are not allowed to look at other kids’ private parts.

Action: Tell one of the adults on your *Safety Network straightaway (usually your teacher or the teacher on duty). If they don’t believe you, tell another adult on your Safety Network.

 

*Safety Network: 3 to 5 adults that a child can trust and can tell anything to and know those adults will believe them.

*Early Warning Signs: when our body lets us know that we are scared or uncomfortable, i.e. we may have sweaty palms, sick tummy, shaky legs, heart racing, etc. Go to: www.e2epublishing.info/posters/ to download this free ‘Early Warning Signs’ poster to share with children.

written by Jayneen Sanders

Copyright UpLoad Publishing

Jayneen Sanders (aka Jay Dale) is a teacher, author, mother of three daughters and an active advocate for sexual abuse prevention education and respectful relationships to be taught both in the home and in schools.

For more information on this topic and Jay’s children's books 'Some Secrets Should Never Be Kept', 'Pearl Fairweather Pirate Captain', ‘No Means No!’, ‘My Body! What I say Goes!’, ‘No Difference Between Us’, and her parents’ guide ‘Body Safety Education — A parents’ guide to protecting kids from sexual abuse’ go to www.e2epublishing.info

All books are also available on Amazon at http://amzn.to/2cC7QNb

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Comment

Jay Sanders

Jayneen (Jay) Sanders is an experienced primary school teacher and a successful children's book author. She is also the mother of three teenage girls and has been a primary school councillor for over seven years. Her time spent in primary schools inspired her to ask: ‘What are we doing in schools to protect our children from sexual interference?’ When she realised very little was actually being done, she decided to write a book to help parents, carers and teachers to broach the subject of self-protection and to encourage children to speak up.

8 Reasons NOT to Call Your Child’s Genitals ‘Pet’ Names

mini     cupcake          fireman's hose           buddy            doughnut        muffin         doodle            wee   

butterfly          flower             pee-pee        fanny  

doo-dad         thingy          peanut          winky         penny-loo      tuppence       doodle        dick        rah     

girl bits           mickey       twah-lah          pee-pee

winky-dink       hooha            pooter            front bottom           willy            sausage         cookie

 

As an advocate for Body Safety Education both in homes and schools, I implore you to use the correct anatomical terms for your child’s genitals. These terms are:  VAGINA, VULVA, BREASTS, BOTTOM, PENIS, TESTICLES.

 

Here are 8 very important reasons why!

1. If a child is touched inappropriately, the child can tell a trusted adult on their Safety Network accurately, i.e. 'XXXX touched me on my penis.' This has a lot more weight if the child's accusations were to go to court.

2. If a child says to a teacher, for example, 'XXXX touched my cookie.' This may be discounted. If the child says, 'XXXX touched my vagina' the child will be much more likely to be listened to and taken seriously.

3. If a child says to the perpetrator, 'Stop! Don't touch my vagina!' The potential abuser knows this child is empowered with Body Safety knowledge. This child is less likely to be targeted. Also, pedophiles will be wary of the child who uses the correct names for the genitals because these are adult terms, and if the child does tell, adults will not easily dismiss the touch as ‘harmless fun’.

4. If your child's starts to use 'pet names', you might question where they are hearing these; as your family uses the correct anatomical terms. This can be a red flag to grooming and abuse.

5. Using pet names with your child makes it easier for a pedophile to ‘off load’ any complaints of inappropriate touch made by the child as just a ‘bit of fun’ and easily dismissed by adults uneducated in Body Safety.

6. Using the correct anatomical terms helps explain to children the changes to their body as puberty kicks in. The topic can be discussed without making it into a joke or belittling its importance. Body parts such as the penis or vagina should be as 'everyday' to your child as any other body part, for example, an elbow or nose.

7. If your child’s genitals are hurt or there is a medical problem, it is easier for your child to tell you and/or a health-care professional with more accuracy. For example, just recently a 7-year-old boy told both myself and the class he was unable to play sport because he had hurt his testicles. Not one child giggled and I was able to say with genuine concern, 'No problem. I hope you feel better soon.'

8. Having pet names for your child's private parts could inadvertently teach them that their private parts are places we shouldn’t speak about, and/or that they are ‘rude places’. This could, potentially, lead your child to believe that they must keep any inappropriate touch a secret.

In summary, what parents, care-givers, teachers and health-care professionals all want is to empower kids! Teaching them the correct anatomical names for the gentials is a closer step towards this outcome. There is no downside!

Jayneen Sanders

Many thanks to our Facebook likers (https://www.facebook.com/SomeSecretsShouldNeverBeKept?ref=hl) for their suggestions.

Jayneen Sanders (aka Jay Dale) is a teacher, author, mother of three daughters and an active advocate for sexual abuse prevention education both in the home and in schools.

For more information on this topic and Jay’s children's books on safe and unsafe touch 'Some Secrets Should Never Be Kept', ‘No Means No!’ and her parents’ guide ‘Body Safety Education — A parents’ guide to protecting kids from sexual abuse’ go to www.somesecrets.info

All books are also available on Amazon at http://www.amazon.com/Jayneen-Sanders/e/B00BDCGZ1W/ref=dp_byline_cont_book_1

'Body Safety Education — A parents' guide to protecting kids from sexual abuse' is now available at: http://somesecrets.info/buy-body-safety-education/

To talk to someone about child sexual abuse or any abuse, or for support as a family member or friend to someone who has experienced sexual abuse, please go to: http://somesecrets.info/links/


3 Comments

Jay Sanders

Jayneen (Jay) Sanders is an experienced primary school teacher and a successful children's book author. She is also the mother of three teenage girls and has been a primary school councillor for over seven years. Her time spent in primary schools inspired her to ask: ‘What are we doing in schools to protect our children from sexual interference?’ When she realised very little was actually being done, she decided to write a book to help parents, carers and teachers to broach the subject of self-protection and to encourage children to speak up.

So Many Kids and So Many Parents Uneducated in Body Safety

We had a beautiful day here in Melbourne on Sunday. The sun was out, the sky was blue and the grass was green — littered with families picnicking in the magnificent Botanical Gardens. My husband and I wandered the shady paths, taking in all the joy. We even visited the children’s garden — I just love how it has been designed; everything being the perfect size for children!

As I looked over the happy families enjoying the very best of Melbourne spring weather, I could not help but think of the statistics we know to be true. One in 5 girls and 1 in 8 boys will be sexually abused before their 18th birthday (Pereda et al, 2009). 85% of children will know their perpetrator (NSW Commission for Children & Young People, 2009). We also know the most vulnerable age for children to be exposed to sexual abuse is between 3 and 8 years (Browne & Lynch, 1994). As we wandered around the gardens taking in the joyful atmosphere, I did wonder how many of these caring and devoted parents had talked to their kids about Body Safety. How many of them had begun this very important and empowering conversation. I'm sure the majority had talked to their kids about stranger danger, water safety and road safety; but sadly, I suspect most had not talked to their kids about Body Safety.

Yet, the statistics would indicated that their child is more likely to be sexually abused by a family member or close acquaintance than break a limb, drown or be run over. In my mind, I was wishing ... if only all these adults, so kindly caring for their little ones, had come to hear me talk about Body Safety. What if they were all gathered to learn how they could teach their child about safe and unsafe touch. What if I was here to pass on what I know about Body Safety Education; and what if I was here to educate the community about grooming and how important it is to believe a child if they disclose sexual abuse. Imagine how many children might be saved from the devastating, life-long effects of childhood sexual abuse. Looking around these families, the sunny day dimmed for me — so many kids, so many parents and so so many uneducated in Body Safety. Please help me and other advocates by sharing what you know about Body Safety with other families. A child’s life may well depend on it.

Comment

Jay Sanders

Jayneen (Jay) Sanders is an experienced primary school teacher and a successful children's book author. She is also the mother of three teenage girls and has been a primary school councillor for over seven years. Her time spent in primary schools inspired her to ask: ‘What are we doing in schools to protect our children from sexual interference?’ When she realised very little was actually being done, she decided to write a book to help parents, carers and teachers to broach the subject of self-protection and to encourage children to speak up.

Could YOU tell a stranger about your last sexual encounter?

Well… this is EXACTLY what we expect children who have been sexually abused to do! Once (and if) they find the enormous amount of courage to tell a trusted adult (such as a parent or teacher), they will then be expected to relate the sexual abuse to the police. Could you do that? Could you tell a stranger about your last sexual encounter? And would a child even have the vocabulary to do this?

 

Many in the community uneducated in Body Safety Education (www.somesecrets.info) often ask me, ‘Why don’t children just tell if they are being sexually abused?’ In fact, a very prominent radio shock jock, John Laws [http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/broadcaster-john-laws-shocks-again-in-career-of-controversy/story-fni0fiyv-1227271652955], insensitively did just that to a brave 80-year-old survivor who phoned in to tell his story of sexual abuse as a child. The poor man was bullied by Laws and basically told to just get over it! This kind of uneducated and insensitive reaction does not help survivors to come forward.

Let’s take a closer look at why children don’t and often can’t tell. There are a multiple of complex reasons why not but here is what I know.

1. As stated previously, most children don’t have the actual vocabulary to tell what has happened to them. If uneducated in Body Safety, they won’t know the correct names for their body parts and will not be able to express exactly what happened to them.

2. The perpetrator has told them no-one will believe them. End of story. And the child is so unempowered he or she believes the abuser without question.

3. The perpetrator has threatened the child with horrific consequences if they tell, such as killing their pet, killing their parents, abusing their sibling, that they will be responsible for breaking up the family, etc. The list of terrifying threats is cruel and endless.

4. Most adults will not believe a child’s disclosure. A child has to tell three adults before they are believed. (Aust. Childhood Foundation, 2010)

5. The child is embarrassed because they think they are willing participant in the abuse and the perpetrator will only be encouraging this perspective, especially if the child’s body reacted to the sexual touch. The child, sadly, believes the abuse to be their fault. (Note: tragically, many adult survivors still believe this.)

6. And if the child is brave enough to tell an adult that they are being sexually abused, and that adult does not believe them, than chances are the child will never tell again.

7. The abuser has told the child that the sexual touch is loved-based and that this is what you do when you love someone. They may even show their victim child exploitation material to prove that this kind of sexual touch is normal between children and adults. A child, uneducated in Body Safety, has no idea that the sexual abuse is wrong.

8. What we’re asking a child to do is to tell a stranger about their last sexual encounter. Could you do that? It takes an incredible amount of bravery to disclose. Adults find it difficult. How would it be for a child?

 

The bottom line is there are many complex reasons why a child or adult may never disclose sexual abuse. My advice to educators, parents and carers is to educate your child in Body Safety Education from a very young age. An educated child will know from the first inappropriate touch that it is wrong, and to tell a trusted adult straight away and to keep on telling until they are believed. And PLEASE educate yourself and your community. The path a child’s life may take can literally depend upon it.

 

Jayneen Sanders (aka Jay Dale) is a teacher, author, mother of three daughters and an active advocate for sexual abuse prevention education both in the home and in schools.

For more information on this topic and Jay’s children's book on safe and unsafe touch 'Some Secrets Should Never Be Kept' and her new book ‘Body Safety Education — A parents’ guide to protecting kids from sexual abuse’ go to www.somesecrets.info

'Some Secrets Should Never Be Kept' now available on Amazon in 7 seven languages.

'Body Safety Education — A parents' guide to protecting kids from sexual abuse' is now available at: http://somesecrets.info/buy-body-safety-education/

To talk to someone about child sexual abuse or any abuse, or for support as a family member or friend to someone who has experienced sexual abuse, please go to: http://somesecrets.info/links/

 

2 Comments

Jay Sanders

Jayneen (Jay) Sanders is an experienced primary school teacher and a successful children's book author. She is also the mother of three teenage girls and has been a primary school councillor for over seven years. Her time spent in primary schools inspired her to ask: ‘What are we doing in schools to protect our children from sexual interference?’ When she realised very little was actually being done, she decided to write a book to help parents, carers and teachers to broach the subject of self-protection and to encourage children to speak up.

Who Is Responsible for Keeping Kids Safe from Sexual Abuse?

Some advocates believe it is solely an adult’s responsibility to protect children from sexual abuse. While I totally agree that adults must:

  1. Educate the child in their care in Body Safety Education

  2. Become educated themselves in:

    • grooming techniques used by perpetrators

    • statistics on child sexual abuse

    • the signs that a child is being sexually abused

    • what to do if a child discloses

  3. Believe a child when they disclose

  4. Educate the wider community in the importance of protecting children from sexual abuse

  5. Let friends, family and those who come in contact with their child know that their child is educated in Body Safety and to respect their boundaries…

...I also believe that by educating your child in Body Safety you are reducing the risk of them becoming a target of sexual abuse, i.e. as an empowered child who knows not to keep secrets and has been educated to tell, in all probability, is less likely to be targeted by an abuser who relies heavily on a child to keep ‘the secret’.

In my opinion, a child who knows:

  1. The correct anatomical names for their private parts and is comfortable using those terms

  2. That their body is their body and no-one has the right to touch it

  3. Not to keep secrets that make them feel bad and uncomfortable

  4. The names of five adults that they trust and can tell anything to

  5. If some-one does touch their private parts or touches their body in a way that makes them feel unsafe, they can yell out ‘Stop!’ or ‘No!’ and immediately tell a trusted adult and keep on telling until they are believed…

 

... is indeed an empowered child. Let’s be honest. Our children cannot be with us 24/7. Fact. They will go on camps, they will be invited to sleepovers and they will visit family and friend’s homes. 95% of children who are sexually abused know their perpetrator (Child Protection Council, 1993). They can be groomed and abused right under an unaware and uneducated adult’s nose.

I do understand that very young children find it incredibly difficult to say, ‘No’ to an adult or older child. I do get that. And in fact, in an ideal world they should never have that responsibility. And we, as adults need to be vigilant to the grooming techniques of perpetrators. But as your child becomes older, they will leave the safety of your nest and, sadly, they may have to implement the Body Safety Education they have been taught from a young age. One hopes they never have too, but look at it this way, isn’t it better they wear a safety belt rather than rely on an adult driving the car slowly and carefully. A safety belt is there just in case.

Therefore, yes… it is an adult’s responsibly to educate a child in Body Safety and to educate themselves, but it is also in the child’s best interest to arm them with crucial Body Safety knowledge just in case we are not there to protect them… as I always say ... Forewarned is forearmed!

 

Jayneen Sanders (aka Jay Dale) is a teacher, author, mother of three daughters and an active advocate for sexual abuse prevention education both in the home and in schools.

For more information on this topic and Jay’s children's book on safe and unsafe touch 'Some Secrets Should Never Be Kept' and her new book ‘Body Safety Education — A parents’ guide to protecting kids from sexual abuse’ go to www.somesecrets.info

'Some Secrets Should Never Be Kept' now available on Amazon in 7 seven languages.

'Body Safety Education — A parents' guide to protecting kids from sexual abuse' is now available at: http://somesecrets.info/buy-body-safety-education/

To talk to someone about child sexual abuse or any abuse, or for support as a family member or friend to someone who has experienced sexual abuse, please go to: http://somesecrets.info/links/

Comment

Jay Sanders

Jayneen (Jay) Sanders is an experienced primary school teacher and a successful children's book author. She is also the mother of three teenage girls and has been a primary school councillor for over seven years. Her time spent in primary schools inspired her to ask: ‘What are we doing in schools to protect our children from sexual interference?’ When she realised very little was actually being done, she decided to write a book to help parents, carers and teachers to broach the subject of self-protection and to encourage children to speak up.

Why are educators so hesitant to teach Body Safety Education to the children in their care?

I’ve been thinking about this question a lot lately.

shutterstock_189640325.jpg

Why are educators so hesitant to teach Body Safety Education to the children in their care?

 

Ninety-nine per cent of educators are wonderful individuals who really care about children. I just think many are terrified of this whole topic.

 

Therefore, I personally have come to these conclusions:

(Note: I am very happy for your opinions.)

 

1. The principal is not enforcing what is actually in the curriculum (Body Safety Education is in every curriculum in Australia; please inbox me if you wish to see my summary document).

a) Because he or she thinks the teachers are already too busy to cover this topic along with everything else they have to do (the crowded curriculum).

b) The parents won’t like it.

 

2. Classroom teachers are aware of some ‘disturbing behaviours’ in their grade but would hate to be wrong about a child, and are therefore very cautious to jump to any conclusions.

 

3. They are aware of some disturbing behaviours in the grade but without a disclosure they feel powerless to act; even though they may have powerful suspicions.

 

4. If they teach Body Safety, there may be a disclosure and educators are fearful of what to actually do, their ongoing responsibilities and their role following mandatory reporting.

 

5. Educators are not trained in how to teach Body Safety, and therefore lack the knowledge and confidence to actually teach this topic to the children in their care.

 

So, how can we change all that! My answers to my own points!

 

1. Firstly, principals do need to enforce what is in the curriculum.

a) Teachers need to FIND the time to teach Body Safety as there is nothing more important than the safety of our children. I am sure road and water safety are taught; therefore, Body Safety is equally as important, if not more important.

b) Wrong! I think more and more parents DO want their kids educated in Body Safety. With so many cases in the media of the sexual abuse of children, parents and guardians are increasingly becoming more open to teaching their kids this empowering knowledge.

 

2. I can understand this; no-one wants to jump to wrong conclusions. But with ongoing Body Safety Education, an abused child may well disclose and understand what is happening to them is wrong.

 

3. Same answer as point 2.

 

4. When instructed in how to teach Body Safety, teachers will learn all about their responsibilities and what to do after a disclosure.

 

5. When instructed in how to teach Body Safety, teachers will learn exactly what they need to teach; therefore they will feel confident to impart this knowledge to the kids in their care.

 

Having educators teach Body Safety to the children in their care is a win-win situation. I can’t see any downside! Can you?

Jayneen Sanders author of the children’s book on safe and unsafe touch ‘Some Secrets Should Never Be Kept’ www.somesecrets.info

Comment

Jay Sanders

Jayneen (Jay) Sanders is an experienced primary school teacher and a successful children's book author. She is also the mother of three teenage girls and has been a primary school councillor for over seven years. Her time spent in primary schools inspired her to ask: ‘What are we doing in schools to protect our children from sexual interference?’ When she realised very little was actually being done, she decided to write a book to help parents, carers and teachers to broach the subject of self-protection and to encourage children to speak up.

12 Important Skills Your Child Will Learn from Body Safety Education

As a teacher, a mother and an advocate for Body Safety Education both at home and at school, I am very proud and very loud about the work I do. As we know from recent media reports, many children have been and are silent victims of sexual abuse. This needs to change. Our children need to be loud and proud that they are educated in Body Safety. This sends a very clear message to sex offenders that children today are empowered and know to tell!

shutterstock_80103847.jpg

Here are 12 important skills your child will learn when educated in Body Safety.

1. Your child will learn the correct names for their body parts including their genitals.

2. Your child will learn that their ‘private parts’ are those under their swimsuit. (The mouth is a private part too.)

3. Your child will learn about safe and unsafe touch.

4. Your child will learn that their body is their body and no-one has the right to touch it.

5. Your child will learn if someone does touch them inappropriately to yell ‘No!’ or ‘Stop!’

6. Your child will learn that if they are touched inappropriately (and/or asked to touch a person’s private parts) and/or shown inappropriate images to tell a trusted adult straight away.

7. Your child will learn that it is okay to say ‘No!’ to a person (even an adult) if they are being coerced into something that makes them feel bad and/or uncomfortable.

8. Your child will learn about their Early Warning Signs and how to act upon them.

9. Your child will learn if they are touched inappropriately or their Early Warning Signs kick in to keep on telling a trusted adult until they are believed.

10. Your child will learn that they must never keep secrets that make them feel bad or uncomfortable. (In fact, discourage the use of secrets and talk about happy surprises.)

11. Your child will develop a Safety Network of five trusted adults that they can tell anything to.

12. Your child will learn to be loud and proud that they know their Body Safety rules.

And finally, adults will learn that they need to believe a child if she/he discloses. Remember in 98% of reported child sexual abuse cases, children’s statements were found to be true! (NSW Child Protection Council, Cited In Dympna House, 1998).

 

Jayneen Sanders is a teacher, author, mother of three and an active advocate for sexual abuse prevention education both in the home and in schools.

For more information on this topic have a look at Jayneen’s children’s books on safe and unsafe touch: 'Some Secrets Should Never Be Kept', 'No Means No!', and 'My Body! What I Say Goes!'. For adults, the book 'Body Safety Education: A parents' guide to protecting kids from sexual abuse' is recommended reading.

For a detailed blog on Body Safety Education go to: http://e2epublishing.info/blog/2014/5/9/protect-your-child-from-sexual-abuse or download and use some of our FREE activities for parents, teachers and childcare workers.

The children's book 'Some Secrets Should Never Be Kept' is also available on Amazon in 7 seven languages.

Comment

Jay Sanders

Jayneen (Jay) Sanders is an experienced primary school teacher and a successful children's book author. She is also the mother of three teenage girls and has been a primary school councillor for over seven years. Her time spent in primary schools inspired her to ask: ‘What are we doing in schools to protect our children from sexual interference?’ When she realised very little was actually being done, she decided to write a book to help parents, carers and teachers to broach the subject of self-protection and to encourage children to speak up.

Protect Your Child from Sexual Abuse

http://somesecrets.info/blog/2014/5/9/protect-your-child-from-sexual-abuse

The statistics on the sexual abuse of children are staggering. Some estimates place the incidence as high as 1 in 3 girls and 1 in 6 boys are sexually abused before their 18th birthday (Aust. Institute of Criminology, 1993).  As parents, teachers and community members, what can we do to ensure both our children and children we come in contact with are protected, informed and safe? These 4 key points are crucial.

1. Education

Learn how to protect your child from sexual abuse by educating them in Body Safety, and educating yourself and your community.

2. Awareness

Become aware of the statistics surrounding child sexual abuse and grooming techniques used by pedophiles.

3. Know the Signs

Understand and recognize the signs of child sexual abuse.

4. Believe a Child

Believe a child when they disclosure sexual abuse—it is paramount for their future recovery and healing.

1. Education

Teaching Your Child Body Safety

The most vulnerable age for children to be exposed to sexual abuse is between 3 and 8 years with the majority of onset happening between these ages (Browne & Lynch, 1994). We teach road safety and we teach water safety—it is imperative we teach children Body Safety. If you are concerned about teaching your child these skills, just keep in mind they are age-appropriate, non-graphic, and they also encourage your child to be assertive—a crucial skill in any bullying situation, and a great attribute to have when your child becomes a teenager!

  1. As soon as your child begins to talk and is aware of their body parts, begin to name them correctly, e.g. toes, nose, eyes, etc. Children should also know the correct names for their genitals from a young age. Try not to use ‘pet names’. This way, if a child is touched inappropriately, they can clearly state to you or a trusted adult where they have been touched.

  2. Teach your child that their penis, vagina, bottom, breasts and nipples are called their ‘private parts’ and that these are their body parts that go under their swimsuit. Note: a child’s mouth is also known as a ‘private zone’.

  3. Teach your child that no-one has the right to touch or ask to see their private parts, and if someone does, they must tell you or a trusted adult straightaway. Reinforce that they must keep on telling until they are believed. (Statistics tell us that a child will need to tell three people before they are believed.) As your child becomes older (3+) help them to identify five trusted adults they could tell. These people are part of their ‘safety network’. Have your child point to each digit on their hand and say the names of the people on their 'safety network'. Note: at least one person on their 'safety network' should not NOT be a fmaily memeber.

  4. Teach you child that if some-one (i.e. the perpetrator) asks them to touch their own private parts, shows their private parts to the child or shows them images of private parts that this is wrong also, and that they must tell a trusted adult straightaway. Reinforce that they must keep on telling until they are believed.

  5. At the same time as you are discussing inappropriate touch, talk about feelings. Discuss what it feels like to be happy, sad, angry, excited, etc. Encourage your child in daily activities to talk about their feelings, e.g. ‘I felt really sad when … pushed me over.’ This way your child will be more able to verbalize how they are feeling if some-one does touch them inappropriately.

  6. Talk with your child about feeling ‘safe’ and ‘unsafe’. Discuss times when your child might feel ‘unsafe’, e.g. being pushed down a steep slide; or ‘safe’, e.g. snuggled up on the couch reading a book with you. Children need to understand the different emotions that come with feeling ‘safe’ and ‘unsafe’. For example, when feeling ‘safe’, they may feel happy and have a warm feeling inside; when feeling ‘unsafe’ they may feel scared and have a sick feeling in their tummy.

  7. Discuss with your child their ‘early warning signs’ when feeling unsafe, i.e. heart racing, feeling sick in the tummy, sweaty palms, feeling like crying. Let them come up with some ideas of their own. Tell your child that they must tell you if any of their ‘early warning signs’ happen in any situation. Reinforce that you will always believe them and that they can tell you anything.

  8. As your child grows, try as much as possible to discourage the keeping of secrets. Talk about happy surprises such as not telling Granny about her surprise birthday party and ‘bad’ secrets such as someone touching your private parts. Make sure your child knows that if someone does ask them to keep an inappropriate secret that they must tell you or someone in their ‘safety network’ straightaway.

  9. Discuss with your child when it is appropriate for someone to touch their private parts, e.g. a doctor when they are sick (but making sure they know you must be in the room). Discuss with your child that if someone does touch their private parts (without you there) that they have the right to say: ‘No!’ or ‘Stop!’ and outstretch their arm and hand. Children (from a very young age) need to know their body is their body and no-one has the right to touch it inappropriately.

  10. Read your child ‘Some Secrets Should Never Be Kept’ on a monthly to two monthly basis when your child is young. The book can be read and reread to children 3 to 12 years. It is also ideal to read before camps, sleepovers, etc. Go to www.somesecrets.info for more information and purchasing details. Also teach your child ‘The Body Safety Song’ at http://somesecrets.info/body-safety-song/

Lastly, sexual abuse prevention education is not only a parent’s responsibly, it is also the community’s responsibility. Ask your child’s kindergarten or elementary school if they are running such a program. If they are not, ask why not. And PLEASE lobby for it. Remind them that sexual abuse is irreversible but it can be preventable.  

2. Awareness

Statistics tell us that 95% of sexually abused children will know their perpetrator (Child Protection Council, 1993). They will be an immediate family member, a close family friend or some-one the child has regular contact with.

Grooming

  • Be aware of any person who wishes to spend a great deal of time with your child, seeking out their company and offering to take care of them at any time. For example, an abuser will often ‘help out’ the targeted family at short notice, appearing as a reliable and trustworthy friend. This is the persona a pedophile will go to great lengths to establish.

  • Be aware of any person who pays special attention to your child, making them feel more special than any other child; providing them with special treats, presents, sweets, etc. These ‘treats’ may be provided without your knowledge, and be the first of your child’s secrets they are being groomed to keep.

  • Be aware of any person who spends a large percentage of their out-of-hours recreation time with children—often without other adults present or preferring to be ‘alone’ with the children.

In saying the above, of course we want our children to spend quality and loving time with the special adults in their lives. However, it is important we stay alert.

Important Things to Know About Pedophiles

  • Pedophiles can be any person in the community and from any social democratic. They can be single, married and have families of their own. Up to 95% of child sexual abusers are male (Bagley, 1995).

  • 1/3 of reported offenses are committed by adolescents (Bagley, 1995) and increasingly a childcan be abused by another child slightly older than themselves.

  • Children who live with a single parent that has a live-in partner are at the highest risk: they are 20 times more likely to be victims of sexual abuse than children living with both biological parents (Sedlack et al, 2010). However, children living with both biological parents or in foster care can be targeted.

  • Pedophiles plan their abuse in detail, sometimes over years—grooming both the victim and their family by portraying the persona of a friendly, helpful and reliable person.

  • Pedophiles will actively encourage the targeted child to keep secrets. The secret at first may not be of a sexual nature. These ‘fun’ secrets are intended to build up a sense that the abuser and the child have a ‘special’ relationship.

  • Pedophiles convince the victim that the abuse is normal and love-based. They will use 'guilt’ and ‘blaming’ techniques to coerce the child into believing that they are an equal participant in the ‘shameful’ secret, and therefore are equally too blame. The child can be so ‘guilt ridden’ they may never disclose.

  • Pedophiles use threats and bribes to ensure the child keeps the secret. ‘Keeping the secret’ is of extreme importance to the offender — if the child does tell, the consequences for the offender are catastrophic. Therefore, they will use whatever means they can to ensure the child never tells. This includes subtly discrediting the child by making them out to be a liar—so if they ever do disclose, they won’t be believed.

3. Become Alert

Note: one or more of these indicators does not mean your child is being sexually abused, but if they do show some of these indicators, then there is good reason to investigate further.

General Signs of Sexual Abuse (0 to 12 years):

  • overly interested in theirs or other’s genitals

  • continually wants to touch private parts of other children

  • Instigating and/or forcing ‘sex play’ with another child (often younger, more than 3 years difference in age)

  • sex play that is not appropriate i.e. oral genital contact between a 7 year old and a 4 year old (note: with the increase in pornography viewing on the internet by young children, sex play is becoming more worrisome among similar-aged children)

  • sex play with another child happening more than three times, despite careful monitoring and discussion about inappropriateness

  • persistent masturbation that does not cease when told to stop

  • seductive/advanced sexual behaviour

  • sexualized play with dolls or toys

  • sexualized play involving forced penetration of objects vaginally or anally

  • chronic peeping, exposing and obscenities

  • touching or rubbing against the genitals of adults or children that they do not know

  • persistent use of ‘dirty’ words

  • describing sexual acts and sexualized behavior beyond their years

  • drawings and/or games that involve inappropriate sexual activities

  • strong body odor

  • sores around the mouth

  • bruising or bleeding in the genital area; bruising to breasts, buttocks, lower abdomen or thighs

  • withdrawn and anxious behavior (irritable, clingy, listless)

  • secretive or say they have a ‘special’ secret that can’t tell (this may be to gauge your reaction)

  • child or child’s friend telling you about interference directly or indirectly

  • going to bed fully clothed

  • increase in nightmares and sleep disturbances

  • regressive behavior, e.g. a return to bed-wetting or soiling

  • sudden changes in behavior, e.g. from a happy child to an angry and/or defiant child

  • appetite changes (sudden and significant)

  • unexplained accumulation of money and gifts

  • not wanting to go to a certain person’s place or to an activity

  • indirectly dropping hints about the abuse (again, to gauge your reaction).

In Older Children (Adolescents):

Note: they may also display some of the above indicators

  • self-destructive behavior such as drug dependency, suicide attempts, self-mutilation

  • eating disorders

  • adolescent pregnancy

  • persistent running away from home and/or refusal to attend school

  • withdrawn, angry

  • saying that their body is dirty, ruin, damaged

  • pornography interest; verbally sexually aggressive obscenities

4. Believe a Child

I cannot reinforce strongly enough how important it is to believe a child if they disclose sexual abuse. In 98% of reported child sexual abuse cases, children’s statements were found to be true (NSW Child Protection Council, Cited In Dympna House, 1998). Our reaction to a child’s disclosure is crucial to their ongoing well-being and healing. It we react with disbelief, they may never tell again and their suffering will only increase. It we react with shock, horror and/or anger, the child will most certainly take their cues from us, and believe that in some way they are to blame. It takes an enormous amount of courage for a child (or adult) to disclose sexual abuse that may have been ongoing for years. They will, no doubt, have been threatened with horrific consequences were they to tell. To find the bravery to overcome such threats, is a true act of courage. But what a child needs more than anything from the person they disclose to—be it a parent, relative, teacher or friend—is compassionate reassurance. Therefore, stay calm and:

  • reassure the child you believe them

  • reassure the child they have done the right thing in telling

  • reassure the child that they are incredibly brave and courageous

  • reassure the child that they are in NO way to blame

  • reassure the child that they are loved

  • reassure the child that they are safe and will be looked after

  • reassure the child that you will do everything you can to stop the abuse.

It is our responsibility and duty of care to the child, to remain calm as well as receptive and compassionate, once the child begins to disclose. If they disclose amongst a group, take the child aside and find a safe place for them to continue. A disclosure from any sexual abuse victim takes an enormous amount of courage—so please, as the trusted recipient, respond to such bravery with kindness and compassion.

 Statistics on child sexual abuse http://somesecrets.info/blog/2014/1/20/10-confronting-child-sexual-abuse-statistics and http://somesecrets.info/blog/2014/1/20/terrifying-statistics-linking-child-sexual-abuse-and-the-internet 

Jayneen Sanders is a teacher, author, mother of three teenage daughters and an active advocate for sexual abuse prevention education both in the home and in schools.

For more information on this topic and Jay’s children’s book on safe and unsafe touch: 'Some Secrets Should Never Be Kept' and 'No Means No!', also the parent's guide 'Body Safety Education - a parents' guide to protecting kids from sexual abuse' go to www.somesecrets.info

Now available on Amazon in 7 seven languages. http://www.amazon.com/Jayneen-Sanders/e/B00BDCGZ1W/ref=ntt_athr_dp_pel_1

 

Key Organisations for Further Help

RAINN: http://www.rainn.org/get-help

Childhelp: http://www.childhelp.org/pages/hotline-home

 

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Jay Sanders

Jayneen (Jay) Sanders is an experienced primary school teacher and a successful children's book author. She is also the mother of three teenage girls and has been a primary school councillor for over seven years. Her time spent in primary schools inspired her to ask: ‘What are we doing in schools to protect our children from sexual interference?’ When she realised very little was actually being done, she decided to write a book to help parents, carers and teachers to broach the subject of self-protection and to encourage children to speak up.