“Bess,” said Nana.
“Say sorry.”
“But I’m NOT sorry,” replied Bess.
“Ty pushed me off the swing, so I pushed him back.”
We’ve heard it all before — girls, from a young age, told to say sorry.
To be polite.
To have their manners.
To be a good girl.
To cause no waves.
To keep the peace.
But what if they’re NOT sorry?
What if they were simply standing up for their rights?
What if they didn’t like what the person had said or done to them?
What if they wanted to use THEIR voice?
Times are changing. And rightly so!
If our daughters don’t want to hug or kiss someone, they don’t have too.
We give them permission to say, ‘No Means NO!’ Right?
We are teaching both our sons and our daughters about consent.
But what about ‘sorry’?
Your daughter doesn’t need to say sorry for taking up space in a crowded room, for winning that race, for her nomination as best player, for topping her class in medicine.
She doesn’t need to say, ‘Sorry, but I’m speaking’ to the man/journalist/interviewer interrupting her in a political debate. She doesn’t need to say, ‘Sorry, I was first in line’ to the person pushing in front of her for hotdogs. She doesn’t need to say, ‘Sorry, I stopped too quickly’ when an irate man runs into the back of her car.
I understand manners, when manners are called for by ALL genders, but we have to STOP expecting our daughters to say sorry for existing.
Simply put, teach your daughters to say, ‘I’m speaking’, ‘I was first in line,’ ‘You ran into me’, ‘I take up space’, ‘I exist’.
NO apologies needed!
Jayneen Sanders, author www.e2epublishing.info
