Whatever your take on Halloween, dressing up as a superhero, a monster, or a princess and running around with friends is sheer magic for kids (and let’s be honest, plenty of adults).
But adult creative spaces like comic cons and Renaissance fairs have long had to address a serious issue: the idea that wearing a costume is an open invitation to touch, stare, or cross boundaries. That’s where the phrase "Cosplay is Not Consent" came from.
Halloween is the ultimate costume event, making it the perfect time to help our kids understand both their rights to their own body and their responsibilities toward others.
Your Rights: "Your Body, Your Costume"
Putting on a costume never means surrendering control over your personal space. Reassure your child that they hold all the power over their own outfit and body.
- You have the right to refuse physical touch. Costumes naturally attract high-fives, hugs, or people reaching out to feel a fabric. Your child always has the right to step back, pull away, or say firmly: "Please don't touch my costume."
- You have the right to decline photos. If someone asks for a picture and your child feels uncomfortable, empower them to say, "No thank you, I don't want my photo taken." Remember, it is perfectly acceptable to decline a photo, no matter who is asking. They might get offended or your child might get upset, but if you or your child feel uncomfortable, you need to say no.
- You have the right to be comfortable. If a mask makes it hard to breathe or a cape is annoying to wear, taking it off is always allowed. Staying safe and comfortable matters more than keeping the outfit complete.
Your Responsibilities: "Respecting Others"
Kids can get swept up in the excitement when they see a friend in an incredible outfit. Spotting a demon in the wild when you are dressed as a Demon Hunter is thrilling, but a costume is never a free pass to ignore someone else's boundaries.
- The responsibility to ask before touching. Props and outfits are part of someone else's personal space. Teach your child to ask every single time, for example, "Can I feel your dragon wings?" or "Can I hold your shield?" If the answer is “no”, their responsibility is to accept that immediately without arguing.
- The responsibility to respect space. This can be a tough one at Halloween, but a ghost or monster costume isn’t a license to jump out, grab or scare someone who isn’t actively playing along.
- The responsibility to ask before snapping photos. Remind kids (and adults!) to ask permission before taking pictures of anyone else, even close friends and family.
The 30-Second Pre-Game Check-In
Before heading out to a Halloween event, pause for three quick reminders:
- Ask First: “We always ask before touching anyone else’s costume, mask or props.”
- No Means No: "If someone says 'no' or steps away, we give them space immediately."
- Speak Up: "If anyone has not respected your boundaries or have made you feel uncomfortable, tell a trusted adult right away."
If a lot of this sounds familiar, that’s because it is. Come November 1st, the costumes will be packed away, but these rights and responsibilities remain. They’re the exact same Body Safety principles we teach our children for everyday life—just applied to a time where excitement is high, and boundaries can easily be forgotten or ignored. We might all just need a little reminder.
