As a young woman growing up, I was fortunate enough to have the confidence to say what I thought, and in my own way, set boundaries around what behaviours towards me and my friends I would tolerate and what I would not. But as the years have passed, I realise not everyone has that confidence.
In this political climate, where the rhetoric is often dismissive, disrespectful and derogatory towards many groups I thought what tools and skills do I have to change the conversation around disrespectful behaviours and standing up to those who display them.
Writing kids’ books about topics I really believe matter has always been my jam. So, I decided in November of 2024 Respect Me! Respect My Boundaries! was a book I could write and a book I needed to write.
I felt young girls, in particular (but not excluding other genders) needed to learn to set clear and strong boundaries, and not just around their bodies but also around behaviours towards them, unkind and bullying comments, and disrespect of their privacy. Equally, I wanted to give kids the confidence and courage to be upstanders rather than bystanders (but of course, only when it is safe to do so).
In Respect Me! Respect My Boundaries! I seek to explore scenarios children will identify with that are disrespectful or difficult to navigate, and link them to boundary setting and how that might look.
Amongst the many scenarios featured in Respect Me! Respect My Boundaries! there is also a 4-step process to boundary setting children will learn. This gives them a clear outline to follow and recall when they need to set a boundary. The 4-step process is highlighted in 4 coloured-coded speech bubbles.
Green: 1. State clearly how the person has crossed your boundary.
Red: 2. How it made you feel.
Blue: 3. What you want them to do.
Purple: What action you will take if they continue to ignore your boundary setting.
Get the FREE poster displaying this 4-step process to boundary setting.
No one says boundary setting is easy. And I clearly state this in Respect Me! Respect My Boundaries! Boundary setting takes bravery and practice, and not everyone is going to like it when you set a boundary. But with this empowering book, adult guidance and discussion, and ongoing practice, children will grow into someone who is better able to set boundaries. And in today’s world, that can only be a good thing.
Jayneen Sanders — author, educator
